A man and A women
I just finished watching a video on facebook which one of my friends had shared. This hvideo tried to explain how a women's mind is different from a man's mind.
I find it quite irritable and stupid and funny at times to see how people react when they don't understand something.
I see men all around me, making fun of how women think and how they react to things and disagree with the way they (men) think and react.
How stupid is this for both men and women to think that the other person will think and behave the same way they do. And if they don't then they don't fit in and should be made fun of and ignored. Instead of trying to understand the other person people just talk about it, laugh on it and then forget about it. There is no empathy in anybody these days.
I am a woman and have some girl friends so I can tell a bit about how women think. I have lots of male friends as well, we talk and I see the stark difference in how they think differently about the same situation or incident than a women thinks. Men and Women though are "Humans" but are completely different species. The way their brains are structured are completely different from each other. Which is the primary reason why they never understand each other's behavior and find it bizarre, because from where they see the world this kind of behavior is not possible.
Men are pretty straight and simple, Their mind kind of works in binary 1 and 0. It's either a yes or a no for them. If at times they are confused about something, they don't bother themselves with making a flow chart out of the situation and then take a decision, they simply consider the metrics that matter to them the most and make a decision based on that.
On the other hand, a woman considers all aspects of any situation, if she has to make a decision, she'll consider all the metrics that matters most to her at present and also the things which can matter or bother her at a later stage in life, be it 10 days later or 10 years later.
I think women are more of a thinking species. We think through almost everything, how a decision impacts our lives, our future, our near ones etc etc. That's how we think, it seems very natural to us, it is logical for us. It's not "complex" at all.
For eg: Just the other day, I wanted to go for a haircut which I was planning to go for a long time now. I was talking to my boy friend, and shared my plan with him. He asked me what kind of hair cut I am planning to get. I said I am still thinking if I want to get a short hair cut or just a bit of trimming to grow my hair this time.
He could not understand that, as per him it was an easy decision to make. Either you cut them short or not, there are just 2 choices. While in my head, I had to think if short then what kind of look, will it look good on me, will it go with all kind of out fits, etc. Though it will just take me some minutes to ponder on all those thoughts. But the point is for me those things mattered to make a final decision on what kind of haircut I want for him those metrics amounted to if he wants it or not i.e his wish.
Though both are exactly the same thing, at the end it's what I wish or choose to do. But that wish for me was a manifestation of a couple more things which didn't matter to him.
So, do you see the difference?
I'll give you another example. the other day a colleague at work was a bit confused since his fiance was upset with him. And the reason she gave him was that he doesn't talk to her much.
I talked to him to understand the whole situation, so what was happening was.
Whenever she texts him, he mostly texts her back. Whenever she calls him mostly he talks to her.
At times when he is busy, he just sees the message and doesn't reply back. Which is okay, he is busy.
Now from his point of view, he is talking to her whenever he gets time, is interested to talk or she asks him something. Perfectly normal, right?
Then what is she upset about? He is talking to her daily. And this is exactly the thing my colleague wasn't able to understand.
Now let me tell you the other side of the story.
She can see that at times he is just not replying or answering her messages or calls, it's okay he must be busy. But he also never texts her by himself when he is free. He doesn't feel the need to ever text her or call her by himself, because he wants to talk to her and wants to spend some time knowing her. Which means he is not interested in talking to her. It's like he is just fulfilling the duty of texting her back and answering her calls whenever she does.
At first she will feel hurt, that she has no place in his life. But she'll still try to make some efforts and keep trying to initiate the conversations, carry the conversations. But when she'll see the same oblivion from his end, she'll start thinking that may be she is bothering him. What if she is disturbing him a lot and he'll get irritated with her. It'll sadden her and she'll try to bother him less, at the same time she also wants to talk to him. Now she'll be troubled, really really troubled and then she'll share the issue with him.
So you see how a same situation is perceived so differently at both the ends. At this time both parties need to talk and understand each other's problem and try to find a mid way out.
Sometimes, instead of understanding the problem. Some guys go:
"Should I not work?"
"I talk to you all the time what more do you want?"
"You should've told me this before"
"This is not a problem, I don't see an issue here"
If you are thinking somewhere on the above lines, then let me explain the issue to you.
You should definitely work. You should never stop working and start chatting. The problem is not how many time you texted her or how many minutes you guys talked. The problem is the intent.
She doesn't just want you to reply, she want's a conversation with you. She wants you to think of her, miss her may be and send her a text once in a while or just tell her that you're thinking about her. That is more than enough. You don't have to keep a tab on her, mind you that's not what I mean here.
It's just that she should not be the only one trying to initiate the conversation. Once in a while you should do that too. Talk to her not reply her. Some girls are a bit too sensitive, if your girl is one of them, then instead of seeing a message and not replying, may be just say that you'll talk to her later. Or if you can't send her a reply later when you can. Or if you can't do any just tell her once. She'll be fine with it, so next time onwards she won't think that you were ignoring her.
And Girls, some tips for you too. If you're the one who feels too sensitively about these small things, then you need to understand the other party too. Don't suffocate your guy by demanding too much of his time. Though I agree spending time together is fruitful for the relationship, but at the same time too much time spent together is a slow and ruthless death or relationship as well as both individuals. You should give each other space to grow individually. You need to be secure in yourself, don't get all worked up because he did not reply or you're the one initiating the conversation all the time. Share your feelings with him at stage 1, don't keep it inside you and let it grow like a cancer. If you do, I tell you ladies, it will eat your relationship right in front of your eyes! Experience talking here.
So you see men and women are very different from each other, We should try to understand each other instead of making fun or getting intimidated by each other.
Nobody is the same, leave men and women every individual has a separate personality, different thinking process. So don't try to bully that colleague of yours who is shy or who likes things differently then yourself.
Open up your minds, and accept each marvelous creation with an open heat. :)
Later!
~I see through you ;)
I find it quite irritable and stupid and funny at times to see how people react when they don't understand something.
I see men all around me, making fun of how women think and how they react to things and disagree with the way they (men) think and react.
How stupid is this for both men and women to think that the other person will think and behave the same way they do. And if they don't then they don't fit in and should be made fun of and ignored. Instead of trying to understand the other person people just talk about it, laugh on it and then forget about it. There is no empathy in anybody these days.
I am a woman and have some girl friends so I can tell a bit about how women think. I have lots of male friends as well, we talk and I see the stark difference in how they think differently about the same situation or incident than a women thinks. Men and Women though are "Humans" but are completely different species. The way their brains are structured are completely different from each other. Which is the primary reason why they never understand each other's behavior and find it bizarre, because from where they see the world this kind of behavior is not possible.
Men are pretty straight and simple, Their mind kind of works in binary 1 and 0. It's either a yes or a no for them. If at times they are confused about something, they don't bother themselves with making a flow chart out of the situation and then take a decision, they simply consider the metrics that matter to them the most and make a decision based on that.
On the other hand, a woman considers all aspects of any situation, if she has to make a decision, she'll consider all the metrics that matters most to her at present and also the things which can matter or bother her at a later stage in life, be it 10 days later or 10 years later.
I think women are more of a thinking species. We think through almost everything, how a decision impacts our lives, our future, our near ones etc etc. That's how we think, it seems very natural to us, it is logical for us. It's not "complex" at all.
For eg: Just the other day, I wanted to go for a haircut which I was planning to go for a long time now. I was talking to my boy friend, and shared my plan with him. He asked me what kind of hair cut I am planning to get. I said I am still thinking if I want to get a short hair cut or just a bit of trimming to grow my hair this time.
He could not understand that, as per him it was an easy decision to make. Either you cut them short or not, there are just 2 choices. While in my head, I had to think if short then what kind of look, will it look good on me, will it go with all kind of out fits, etc. Though it will just take me some minutes to ponder on all those thoughts. But the point is for me those things mattered to make a final decision on what kind of haircut I want for him those metrics amounted to if he wants it or not i.e his wish.
Though both are exactly the same thing, at the end it's what I wish or choose to do. But that wish for me was a manifestation of a couple more things which didn't matter to him.
So, do you see the difference?
I'll give you another example. the other day a colleague at work was a bit confused since his fiance was upset with him. And the reason she gave him was that he doesn't talk to her much.
I talked to him to understand the whole situation, so what was happening was.
Whenever she texts him, he mostly texts her back. Whenever she calls him mostly he talks to her.
At times when he is busy, he just sees the message and doesn't reply back. Which is okay, he is busy.
Now from his point of view, he is talking to her whenever he gets time, is interested to talk or she asks him something. Perfectly normal, right?
Then what is she upset about? He is talking to her daily. And this is exactly the thing my colleague wasn't able to understand.
Now let me tell you the other side of the story.
She can see that at times he is just not replying or answering her messages or calls, it's okay he must be busy. But he also never texts her by himself when he is free. He doesn't feel the need to ever text her or call her by himself, because he wants to talk to her and wants to spend some time knowing her. Which means he is not interested in talking to her. It's like he is just fulfilling the duty of texting her back and answering her calls whenever she does.
At first she will feel hurt, that she has no place in his life. But she'll still try to make some efforts and keep trying to initiate the conversations, carry the conversations. But when she'll see the same oblivion from his end, she'll start thinking that may be she is bothering him. What if she is disturbing him a lot and he'll get irritated with her. It'll sadden her and she'll try to bother him less, at the same time she also wants to talk to him. Now she'll be troubled, really really troubled and then she'll share the issue with him.
So you see how a same situation is perceived so differently at both the ends. At this time both parties need to talk and understand each other's problem and try to find a mid way out.
Sometimes, instead of understanding the problem. Some guys go:
"Should I not work?"
"I talk to you all the time what more do you want?"
"You should've told me this before"
"This is not a problem, I don't see an issue here"
If you are thinking somewhere on the above lines, then let me explain the issue to you.
You should definitely work. You should never stop working and start chatting. The problem is not how many time you texted her or how many minutes you guys talked. The problem is the intent.
She doesn't just want you to reply, she want's a conversation with you. She wants you to think of her, miss her may be and send her a text once in a while or just tell her that you're thinking about her. That is more than enough. You don't have to keep a tab on her, mind you that's not what I mean here.
It's just that she should not be the only one trying to initiate the conversation. Once in a while you should do that too. Talk to her not reply her. Some girls are a bit too sensitive, if your girl is one of them, then instead of seeing a message and not replying, may be just say that you'll talk to her later. Or if you can't send her a reply later when you can. Or if you can't do any just tell her once. She'll be fine with it, so next time onwards she won't think that you were ignoring her.
And Girls, some tips for you too. If you're the one who feels too sensitively about these small things, then you need to understand the other party too. Don't suffocate your guy by demanding too much of his time. Though I agree spending time together is fruitful for the relationship, but at the same time too much time spent together is a slow and ruthless death or relationship as well as both individuals. You should give each other space to grow individually. You need to be secure in yourself, don't get all worked up because he did not reply or you're the one initiating the conversation all the time. Share your feelings with him at stage 1, don't keep it inside you and let it grow like a cancer. If you do, I tell you ladies, it will eat your relationship right in front of your eyes! Experience talking here.
So you see men and women are very different from each other, We should try to understand each other instead of making fun or getting intimidated by each other.
Nobody is the same, leave men and women every individual has a separate personality, different thinking process. So don't try to bully that colleague of yours who is shy or who likes things differently then yourself.
Open up your minds, and accept each marvelous creation with an open heat. :)
Later!
~I see through you ;)
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